What goes around comes around

Humans have it pretty weird, especially when it comes to emotions. So, you find someone, fall in love, promise to never leave them, a few years down the line you realize you cannot do it, and you decide to go your own way. And this happens as the last resort in most cases, when things are beyond repair.

Still when the other person moves on, it will bother you. Even if you left them in the first place. Even if you have already moved on. Why? This is the same person you wanted out of your life, then why does it matter now? This is the same person who probably pleaded you to not leave.

Serves you right, though! Doesn’t it?

dil beparwah

Thodi thodi hai sabki suni

Thoda kuch toh sabne kaha

Thoda thoda samjha bhi magar

Dil yeh maane kahan.

Bas iski zidd hai, dil befikar lapata

Kaisi yeh dhun hai

Kho kar bhi kuch na mila

Iss dil ki aadat yahi hai

Gir kar sambhalta nahi hai

Zaalim samajhta nahi hai ye koi zubaan

Ye dil beparwah.

This song by Ankur Tewari and Prateek Kuhad just about sums up my thoughts.

Anytime is a good time to start…

…so why not today?

I have been meaning to get into the habit of writing a journal. Writing has always helped me feel lighter, clear my head.

Off-late, something feels different. I am almost scared to acknowledge it too much because I don’t want to lose it. I like it and I want it to stay this way. This new feeling is of acceptance, of making peace, of being able to see beyond my narrow vision.

I have been consciously trying to avoid toxic people. I am trying to learn to say a no. I am trying to not bend backwards. I am learning to let go.

I am not there yet – I am still wound up in my past. But I am trying.